I like:
> (1) ... it means preaching aimed at the actual experience of the soul, not just the intellect.
> Doctrine pressed down onto the conscience until it burns.
> (2) ... but the will and heart moved by apprehension of God's reality. So the preaching stacks
> theological weight specifically to crack the heart open.
> (3) Martyn Lloyd-Jones called this "logic on fire."

the actual presence of Jesus
the presence of God never leaves you unchanged
I've been praying that He changes everything

Evan has been a source of frustration for me, and I forgive him
I feel misunderstood
Assumed about
Like he wants to be nothing like me

I love this from Practicing the Presence of People - Mike Mason:
> Faith, whether in God or in people, can only happen in utter humility. It implies a willingness
> to have neither questions nor answers, only an open ear and a clear eye.

I want to be set apart and consistent, faithful, and beg God to move in people's hearts
But I inevitably fail. I thought I was building my testimony when I gave my sexuality over to God
a couple months ago. In honest prayer, saying, "God, I want this. I don't want to want this" That
I never have to be impure again. But even just yesterday morning I sinned in that way. If God
forgives me, why does it take me longer to forgive myself? (everyone has had these thoughts)

What His grace feels like! I listened to Lost? - King's Kaleidoscope and it blew my mind.

Oh, that's another thing on my heart!

He's always present. God is always with us.

However, there is a special with-us-ness that we get in praise & worship, on the mountain top,
during really choice moments where it feels like heaven on earth and we're closer to the garden.
What is that??? Apocolypse at least in part. When the light comes in and we experience a
revelation/unveiling of the true nature of Christ. We can have Him all the time in abundance.
However, there are still these choice moments. I think of anointing as another aspect of this.

> - The shadow side. Don't skip this — the counterweight is real and biblical. Deus absconditus
> (the hidden God), the "dark night of the soul" (John of the Cross), the silence of God, desolation
> in Ignatian terms. Heightened-presence moments are real; so are heightened-absence moments. The
> saints who spoke most credibly about with-us-ness had also sat in long silences. Skipping this
> half produces preachers who either overpromise experience or make sufferers feel broken.